OMG! MONSTER Cookies

So two things were going on today. 1) My daughter decided to paint her room, and begged me for help. I severely dislike painting, so 2) I wanted cookies. The thought of painting made me want to bake cookies even more.

There wasn’t any way I was setting foot into a den of painting. And I use the definition of den as follows: a wild animal’s lair or habitation. She’s 19. Think your 14 year old knows everything??

I figured I’d crack open a cookbook I haven’t used yet: The Barnes and Noble Cookies Bake-Off : Top 75 Recipes from Around the Country by Sterling Publishers. I give you Thriftbooks’ link, as it’s the cheapest online, and Barnes and Noble doesn’t actually have it listed on their site – you can’t make this shit up. Clearly it wasn’t a best seller the winter of 2015 upon its release, and the fact that they don’t sell it on their site is their problem. Not mine. I give you full permission to buy it cheap.

The cookie on page 34 – the OMG cookie – was one of the runner ups for the contest for which the book was created. It’s good. You should buy the cookbook because there are other good recipes in it. But you can’t apparently buy it from the people who hosted the bakeoff.

I made a few modifications, quite simply because I know to, and didn’t have exactly what Sandy from IL was asking for – I know, shocker.

Personally, every single recipe is game for this philosophy in my house. I know what makes recipes better in my mind, and I often don’t have the ingredients but have something similar.

Welcome to the den of experimentation. See the definition to which I refer above.

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My Thoughts After Baking:

  1. This recipe calls for 3 cups of flour: 2 cup AP flour and 1 cup whole wheat. I did the following: 1 cup AP, 1 cup whole wheat, 1 cup bread flour. Why?
    1. Bread flour will help the cookie be more tender, especially with the addition of whole wheat flour in this recipe.
    2. Guess what? I’m right.
    3. I felt so good throwing whole wheat flour in this recipe. Why? Below is only part of what’s added into this cookie. Totally healthy to add in that cup of whole wheat flour. Totally healthy. My thought wasn’t OMG when I saw the weight, it was HOLY SHIT.
    4. There came a point when I thought I might need to chisel out my kitchen sink and add it to this cookie because there are that many ingredients. IMG_7339
  2. I didn’t have pretzel thins, I had the even better butter pretzel bites. Why eat boring pretzel when you can have butter pretzels.
    1. I’d maybe only break the pretzels in half next time. They kinda got lost in the batter being broken up more.
  3. I also didn’t have milk chocolate chips, but had bars which I cut into chunks; in the end, I had this wild combination of all kinds of chocolate to make up the 2 cups called for in the recipe…everything from Easter candy to high end dark chocolate bars. Have fun.
    1. The chocolate stays gooey in this cookie for quite some time. 🙂
  4. I also didn’t have toffee bits, but had leftover toffee from England. Chopped it up and threw it in.
  5. Guess what else I didn’t have?? Individual caramels. But I did have a honkin’ block of caramel that I cut into small bits.
    1. I know the recipe calls to wrap the caramel in the dough so it makes a surprise inside. Wasn’t happenin’. I just threw my chopped bits of caramel into the dough, knowing they’d spread and bubble out, possibly deforming the overall shape of the cookie, but I was ready with a paring knife immediately when they came out of the oven and scraped off the melted bits and reshaped the cookie. IMG_6299
    2. It didn’t make me sad to eat some of that pile in the middle.
    3. Sure, some of my cookies got slightly deformed from the caramel melting and bulging out, but this is a cookie that tells you to use a 1/4 cup measure (aka the blue Zeroll scoop)… it’s a monster friggin’ cookie. So monsters aren’t always pretty, now, are they?
  6. This cookie was good on its own, but when it cooled and I dunked it in milk, it became everything I wanted it to be as a cookie. Chewy, yet the toffee and caramel hardened up because of the cold milk and became crispy. Hello joy.
  7. Totally healthy, right? See all that butter…So much for that whole wheat flour.

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Welcome to the Monster Cookie Meal.

This cookie could be a meal. It’s that dense and big. Go slap some ice cream in the middle and call it a day.

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