Screw you Winter Storm Skylar.
Just go fuck off out to sea. Seriously.
We live slam in the middle of the 16″-24″ band…and it’s friggin’ March 13, dammit!
I’m so illogically angry about the weather, I could scream. I actually did primal scream last night, but about something totally different. It’s actually good therapy that I highly recommend. The fellow below is done in a bit over one minute and 30 seconds, and then he moves on.
This was me yesterday after I chased my dumbass puppy around the neighborhood, and then I ultimately ended up face down in nice clothes and shoes in someone’s muddy driveway because of her. I came home and this was literally me in my laundry room.
Go ahead and laugh. I can’t yet. And now, I’m stuck in dumping snow. And I just wanted to make brownies today. When I get my ingredients together, I am fucking out of regualr granualted sugar.
Remember that vanilla sugar I told you to make in the Vanilla Kissed Grapefruit Marmalade? Thank God for the stuff and the fact that I generally keep a massive tub of it around because I would have been reduced to more of the primal scream therapy above today if it weren’t for my tub of vanilla sugar.
Illogical anger is just that. Illogical. What can I say?
Moving on. One of my favorite candy bars growing up was the Heath Bar. I think it was the English side of me screaming to come out, and to this day, when we travel, I always bring home copious amounts of English toffee, whenever we go anywhere near the UK. My husband gets pissed off, claiming he’s cutting out sugar every single time; yet, he’s one of the ones in the house who will gladly lift up the lid to the candy jar.
We’re all human.
The long and short of it is that I generally have one, if not two, bags of the Heath bits on hand because I love them so much. And lo’ this has saved me today based on the recipe that is on the back of the bag for All American Heath Brownies:
On the back of the bag is a darling recipe for All-American Heath Brownies. I generally find this ironic that Hershey’s calls this brownie All-American, given toffee is generally accepted as an English gig. Then I did a wee bit of research and found an article from Woody Candy – and they seem to have the candy gig perhaps down to a real science – that what we US peeps call toffee should be more aptly named as buttercrunch, as it’s not really what the English knew as toffee. But as the article points out, buttercrunch doesn’t sound as posh as English toffee, now does it?
Either way, these brownies looked lovely enough to make to help me wash away my winter woes, and I had enough vanilla sugar. Yeah.
- 1/3 cup butter or margarine
- 3 sections HERSHEY’S Unsweetened Chocolate Baking Bar (1/2 oz. each)
- 1 cup sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1-1/3 cups HEATH Milk Chocolate Toffee Bits (8-oz. pkg.)
- Heat oven to 350°F. Grease bottom of 8-inch square baking pan.
- Melt butter and chocolate in medium saucepan over low heat, stirring occasionally.
- Remove from heat and let cool for a few minutes.
- Stir in sugar.
- Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition.
- Stir in vanilla.
- Combine flour, baking powder and salt together in separate bowl; add to chocolate mixture, stirring until well blended.
- Spread batter in prepared pan.
- Bake 20 minutes or until brownie begins to pull away from sides of pan.
- Remove from oven; sprinkle with toffee bits. Cover tightly with foil. Cool completely in pan on wire rack. Remove foil; cut into squares. Makes 16 brownies.
My Thoughts After Making:
- Dear Lord, if you like toffee, run, do not walk, to the closest place where you can buy Heath Bar bits. These brownies are SOOOOO good!! I should have put these in the Brutal Brownie Battles:
- These brownies are dense, chocolatey, crunchy, and just sublime. Marvelous. Splendid. Just make them. Especially if you’re trapped in a winter hell like I am.
- Do the parchment thing I told you to do in the fudge brownie post. These brownies will come out of the pan so easily!
- I’ve broken down the steps a bit better for you. If you read the recipe as written online or the back of the bag, and you aren’t really thinking things through – as I can be notorious for doing – or you’re totally literal, then you might not realize you need to remove the pot from the stove after melting the butter and chocolate together.
- Here’s how it’s written on the post from Hershey’s:
- Melt butter and chocolate in medium saucepan over low heat, stirring occasionally. Stir in sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Stir in vanilla. Combine flour, baking powder and salt; add to chocolate mixture, stirring until well blended. Spread batter in prepared pan.
- If you don’t remove the pot from the stove after melting the chocolate and butter, you’re fine to add the sugar, but if your pot is still on the stove when you go to add the eggs, you’re going to have scrambled eggs in your brownie batter. Gross.
- No, I did not do this. These actually came out perfectly. As it continues to dump snow outside. Thank God they came out perfectly. See primal scream note above.
- I like this recipe because it can be made in one pot, whips up super fast – like 6 minutes prep time, and in less than 30 minutes you can have your delicious brownies to help you eat away your winter woes and prevent more primal scream therapy.
Chocolate is a mood enhancer. Nuff’ said.
Thumbnail brownie image credit