Bacon! I Said BACON (and Cheddar Scones)

 

For all the vegetarians and vegans of the world, I have one word for you that sums up why I can’t be a part of your clan: BACON. 

Gimme my fatty fried pig.

I smell bacon, and I want bacon. Often I don’t smell bacon, and I want bacon.

Bacon. Fried, fatty, gloriously greasy, crispy pig.

In my scone baking frenzy this week, I stumbled across Mostly Homemade Mom‘s Bacon Cheddar Scones. Honey, you had me at bacon.

Let’s Talk Ingredients:

Bacon. Bacon. BACON. 

Let’s start with the bacon, ’cause, Honey, it’s at the heart of this recipe. Don’t eat too many of these scones every day, or your heart will be at the heart of the issue. Two words: bacon grease. Another two words: artery clogger.

Anyways, get some of that thick cut, gloriously striped with fat, butcher’s cut stuff. I suppose the thin grocery store kind would suffice, but if you’re gonna use bacon, go whole hog. Get the good stuff. We raise our own pigs and ask the butcher for the thick cut kind.

Try and get it smoked, as well. OMG… smoky fried piggy. DEE-LIC-OUS. The smoky flavor will add a whole other layer of flavor. IMG_7066

Go ahead and fry up the whole pound of it, even though you only need 8 strips. Let’s face it, if you’re making this recipe, fried piggy just might be your giggy, and you know you’ll be eating a good 3-5 strips as it comes hot and dripping out of the pan.

Get yourself a splatter guard. You don’t have to get this specific one, just something like this. I found a $3 one from a cheapo depot kinda store, and it works fine. Nothing will  keep 100% of the grease splatter in the pan, but these will save you massive cleanup time by keeping a whole lotta grease off your stove top.

Cheese: 

I used that thin shredded no-name store-brand crap simply because that’s what I had on hand. This is shit someone else bought when shopping. Momma no buy shitty shit – especially cheese – when she shops.

But are you surprised I didn’t have what I really needed? Shouldn’t be by now.

I used what I had on hand. And here is a note on ingredients… INGREDIENT QUALITY MATTERS. Truth is, sometimes you can pull off ‘meh’ quality ingredients because there’s a whole lotta flavor profile going on in a dish. I still say be careful and go best quality you can afford.

But in a recipe where there are 2 central players – bacon and cheddar – you need to make sure those 2 stars are the best your team budget can afford for the championship bake-off result. There’s a reason the Yankees have some many World Series titles; with a budget like that, you often can buy the win. Oops, sorry, I mean the best.

And the best it should be with these scones. Get an insanely good cheese that you love and hand-shred it into those thick bits.

Now onto the Recipe:

Here’s Mostly Homemade Mom’s Bacon Cheddar Scones recipe:

Bacon Cheddar Scones: makes 8 scones. Adapted from Taste of Home.

  • 8 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
  • 1/3 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1 3/4 cup flour
  • 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon ground mustard
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 6 tablespoons cold butter
  • 2 eggs, beaten slightly
  • 1/3 cup milk

Directions: 

  1. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, ground mustard, and salt.
  2. Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in the cold butter until you have coarse crumbs.

    IMG_7065
    This is what course crumbs look like once the cold butter is cut in.
  3. Add in milk and beaten eggs and stir until moist.
  4. Stir in shredded cheese and bacon.
  5. Plop dough out onto a greased circle sheet. Press into a circle as wide as the cookie sheet. IMG_7067
  6. Cut into 8 slices, but don’t separate the slices.
  7. Bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. IMG_7072

My Thoughts After Baking:

  1. When you go to gently roll out the dough and cut it, don’t do it on a pan. Use the same cutting board you used to cut up bacon. All that artery-clogging grease will soak into the dough for more flavor. Yumm. Grease.
    1. Please. You’re baking with fucking bacon. 
  2. Unless you enjoy more cleanup (God love you, please come to my house), don’t grease your pan. You’re asking to burn the butts of these scones, in my un-Martha opinion.
    1. There is this insane product called parchment paper.
    2. Make it your baking BFF.
  3. A note on adding ingredients:
    1. Whisk the eggs and milk together, add this to the dry ingredients, stir a few times with a dough whisk, then add the cheese and bacon before the dough is fully formed.
    2. One thing you do not want to do is overwork dough of any kind. The more you work with any kind of wheat flour dough, the more you develop the gluten. The more the gluten is developed, the tougher the end product is.
    3. Science.
  4.  In my oven, these cooked 13 min @ 400F.
    1. Every oven is different.
    2. Get to know yours. Buy it a gift of an internal thermometer, and find out its internal feelings…
    3. AKA what the actual temperature is on the inside. You might be surprised.

What I’d Do Differently Next Time:

This scone is good, and that’s why I want to remake it. I want to make it really good. As is, this scone is basic, and I say that in a truly loving way. If you’re a purist, stick to this recipe as is. It is good. But I want greatness. This scone was wonderful right out of the oven with all the residual hot bacon grease oozing through the cooked dough. But after these scones set, I realized I wanted more of a  flavor profile to them. I like layers of flavor, personally.

  1. I might add shallots and scallions as a whole other flavor layer.
  2. I’d add somewhere between 1/4-1/2 tsp coarsely ground pepper.
  3. Play around with the cheese flavors you love: I think this would be insane using a pepper-jack cheese. I’d throw in some chopped up chilis or jalapeños, too. I think Gruyère would be delicious.
    1. Just make sure it’s thickly shredded cheese.
  4. I don’t know if it’s because I used the thin store brand shit cheese, but the cheese kinda got lost. I might add a heaping 1/2 cup of thickly shredded cheese next time.
  5. I make candied bacon: bacon dredged in brown sugar and then baked. I think this would be insanely awesome in this recipe to create a sweet and savory note.
    1. I’d brush maple syrup on the top before baking and then again right out of the oven.

Fried fatty Porky the Pig is my friend. I can’t be your friend if you don’t like bacon.

img_7077.jpg

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