Welcome to Day 6 of the #365daysofbaking: AKA Baking Hell or baking Ghirardelli chocolate chip cookies – the recipe from the package – kinda hell.
How can a chocolate chip cookie be hell? Excellent question that I, myself, an experienced baker who’s made thousands of cookies in my life, would love to know.
I think sometimes the universe just conspires against you as some form of karma. Like what have I done to piss off chocolate???
All I wanted was some chocolate chip cookies. Well, let me rephrase. Actually, all I
wanted was chocolate chip cookie dough. And the dough for this recipe was delightful. And no…those raw eggs that I let set out to room temperature didn’t kill me.
I followed the steps to the Ghirardelli recipe – and the only reason I share this recipe link is because it is the same bloody recipe that is on the back of the bag of Ghirardelli chocolate chips (and every time I add another picture, I get closer to my GB media limit here.) And Ms. Elizabeth, I hate to disappoint you and your avid readers, but this ain’t your recipe. And one of your commentators wanted to know where you keep coming up with these lovely recipes… You may want to inform her with this response, “The back of the fucking bag of chips.”
Anyways. I followed the steps:
- Preheated my oven to 375 degrees, just like instructed.
- Mixed my dry ingredients.
- Instead, I used 1 1/8 cup cake flour and 1 1/8 regular flour. Could this have been my fail?? But cake flour will make cookies more tender. I know this, and have made cookies with it before…
- I creamed my butter and sugars for 5 minutes.
- There was no time limit, but I know 3-5 minutes is what’s needed to really cream butter and sugar.
- Yes, my butter was at room temperature. So were my eggs.
- I didn’t add the eggs one at a time, though…
- I incorporated dry into wet.
- I used a cookie scoop.
RESULT? Got pancake-like, greasy cookies that melded into a singular mass of alien blob.
Left: Batch 1 – ummm…. OK, so I’ll spread them out a bit more, even though they were 2″ apart on the pan.
Middle: Batch 2 – OK, at least they didn’t form an amoebic blob. Maybe I’ll chill the dough and that will correct the spread…
Right: Batch 3 – maybe I need to chill the dough even more?? WTF?
I am calling mad bullshit on this picture below from the lovely recipe link where Ms. Elizabeth is claiming rights to the recipe on the back of the bag of Ghirardelli chips… How in Hell did this person’s cookies look so uniform. So perfect. So… what the fuck?!
Let’s be clear, this recipe – from the back of the Ghirardelli bag – produces a very lovely tasting end product. But I want it to look pretty as well. I read the reviews, and surprise! A few people had the same flat-ass greasy results as me. But I garnered a few more tips from others:
- beat sugars and butter only 4 minutes.
- reduce both butter and chips by 1/2 cup.
- scoop dough into balls and then chill for 1 hour.
Back of the bag recipe… you may have won this round, but this is cookie war. GAME ON.