I Blame Her for Making Me an Eye Makeup Slut

I’ve never worn a lot of eye makeup. My makeup routine consisted of lipstick (always bold), light brown eyeliner, mascara, and finishing powder. Three minutes. Boom. Done.

And then I met Jean.

Subscribing to the notion that owning over 100 pairs of shoes makes me a shoe whore, Jean may not own that many eyeshadow palettes, but she easily owns that many colors. I see gorgeous shoes and buy them; she’s my counterpart with eyeshadow palettes. Where I need many, many shelves for my shoes, she has a lovely dressing table in her bedroom for the sole purpose of her loads and loads of makeup, especially eye makeup. We both willfully admit these weaknesses. We have no plan to change. There is no 12 step program for us.

Jean has a wonderful touch with makeup – she could easily be a makeup artist. She never looks overdone, but always perfectly put together. When I tried using eye shadow, I often looked like Bozo the Clown after a few shots of shitty tequila. Jean so much as told me so one day. It was mostly lovingly told. We both laughed.

Jean and I try to get together as often as possible within our busy lives – well, mostly her busy life – and a trip to Sephora is now always in order. These makeup trips started namely due to her needing to get something; then one day when I had attempted using eye makeup (probably the day she lovingly told me I could do a better job than Bozo the Clown), Jean put Sephora on the places to go for the day. The kind lady at Sephora gave me a 15 minute tutorial on how to do a basic everyday eye, and Jean smiled the whole time.

And so within the last year, I have spent more money on eye makeup than I’ve spent on any kind of makeup in the last 43 years of my life. I now have a large makeup bag overflowing with far too many eyeshadow palettes and singles. As those ladies we knew from our Southern childhoods might say, I now have more eye makeup than I can shake a stick at.

I blame it all on Jean.

With everything that comes in the mail this time of year, I got a package from Ulta, knowing I’d ordered some eye makeup primer from Urban Decay, but when I opened the box, this was inside:

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Urban Decay’s Vice eyeshadow palette

I don’t even remember ordering it. It’s quite lovely. But I have no recollection of ordering it until I checked my email. Yep, I did. I immediately sent this text to Jean:

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She only laughed.

Now that I was the proud owner of yet another eyeshadow palette, I figured I needed to play. Using Underhand, 1985 (oh yeah, baby!), and Framed I created this:

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Forgive the blurriness – I needed my glasses to take this photo, but you can clearly see they are not on

I live in northern New England, and for some people, this might seem like a very bold eye, but I now wear glasses with a bold frame, so a bold eye works. This is what it looks like under a frame:

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I sent these pictures to Jean. She said it was lovely.

I reminded her that it should… because of her, I own way too much eye makeup. She has made me an eye makeup slut.

Damn her.

Do you have vices like makeup or shoes? Tell us. We’re here to support your addictions to beauty.

eyeshadow palette image credit

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